Can I Stop? How?

  • The Dangers of Sexting

    As we continue to build the Candeo web site I see things that I think may be relevant to our audience. Our site is devoted to helping people overcome their addiction to pornography and it is at times extremely gratifying. Other times it is challenging. People have deep and enduring struggles with this issue.

  • Overcoming the "Big Wave"

    Let’s review what our training teaches on what is happening in your brain when you feel overwhelmed by big waves and urges that lead to engage in unwanted sexual behaviors.

  • How do I figure out where my triggers are coming from?

    This is an important question and one of the first steps of changing your brain. We address it in the training, but becoming more aware of what is affecting you is important. Being aware of what is going on in your brain is a big key. You could have triggers coming from every direction.

  • How does Rationalizing and Justifying affect my Recovery?

    When a person engages in unwanted sexual behaviors, especially if they are hiding it from their partner or loved ones, they often feel so much shame their brain creates power defense mechanisms, including rationalizing and justifying. In the training we teach that people often exaggerate and justify the perceived positives of engaging in the behavior, while downplaying or ignoring the real consequences. This thinking error is actually a hallmark of any addiction.

  • Why are you stuck?

    One compelling reason you may stay “stuck” in unwanted sexual behaviors is fear. Fear is a powerful force in our lives. Understanding how to effectively deal with fear is absolutely necessary in order to free you from a lifestyle that has been destructive, limiting, and seemingly beyond your control.

  • How Shame Keeps You Stuck

    One of the most powerful consequences of developing unwanted sexual behaviors is experiencing shame. Shame also seems to be one of the culprits that keep people stuck in their unwanted behaviors. Let’s explore a little about shame.

  • How to Truly Tackle Temptation

    To get to the Second Stage of Recovery, we have to rethink an all too common assumption about what temptations are. This can be challenging even for professionals and
    “old pros” in the recovery world, but it can make a huge difference in our ability to enjoy recovery for what it is – a chance to view the world and ourselves in a whole better light. I also give a specific example of how to apply it and even cite a study (no surprise there)!

  • Does it help to count the days of sobriety?

    Many Candeo students find motivation by counting the days of their sobriety. It is necessary to establish a complete abstinence from the neurochemicals. Your brain needs the break from the unhealthy chemical release to be able to engage in recovery and healing of the underlying issues. Therefore, counting the days can be motivating to remind you of this goal and as a marker of where you are at.

  • Candeo Podcast - The Amazing Power of Journaling

    With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “The Amazing Power of Journaling”.

  • Using your brain to change your brain

    You’re here because you have a desire to change a negative behavior or habit, or perhaps even breakout of an addiction. By the way, don’t be offended by the word addiction. There are many different kinds of addiction in the world today. Being addicted simply means you continue engaging in a specific behavior or activity, even though it keeps resulting in harmful consequences.

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