Posts by Derrick Hull

  • How “It’s not your fault” Could Change Your Life

    Just in: When we experience a random and negative outcome we believe that it’s our fault. What’s even more puzzling is that these kinds of experiences lead us to devalue ourselves, to over-remember our personal shortcomings, to encourage us to avoid things we would otherwise enjoy, and they can even convince us to remain in a bad state even though we could easily escape it.

    Why do we react in such a self-punishing manner, especially when it is clear that what happened is not our fault?

  • 5 Myths and Misunderstandings of Pornography

    The following is adapted and expanded from an article requested by a well-regarded newspaper publisher.

  • Lab Study: Willpower Doesn't Work

    Candeo has been claiming for years (maybe decades), that willpower doesn’t work. I helped a colleague of mine run an interesting study. She found that the injunction to “try harder” had no effect whatsoever on anyone’s ability to regulate how they were feeling, especially when we used very scientific measurements, like physiological reactivity, to gauge whether people were successful in changing how they were feeling.

  • How to feel closer and be better

    It’s no surprise to anyone these days that the relationships we have with the people around us are not just meaningful but important to our well-being and health.

    Research is increasingly identifying ways to engage with these relationships that serve others and ourselves better.

  • The Secret of Stress Management - Part II

    Managing stress is hard. It’s made harder because the usual advice for how to manage it is pretty bad. In this post we reach the conclusion of the Secret of Stress Management discussion by looking at how exactly to manage stress effectively.

  • The Secret of Stress Management - Part I

    Stress. It taxes our emotions. It over-focuses us on anything except what matters. It negatively impacts our recovery. So what gives, how do we conquer the stress obstacle? How do we combat procrastination? The single source identified by on-going research that knocks people off of their recovery path is stress – so let’s see if we can figure out what it is.

  • Emotion Antidotes for Everyday Life

    Sometimes we have emotions we’d rather do without. What is the best way to squash the ones we don’t want and to stretch out the ones we do want? By taking a close look at 5 of the most common emotions, we can find a path towards better living.

  • How to Truly Tackle Temptation

    To get to the Second Stage of Recovery, we have to rethink an all too common assumption about what temptations are. This can be challenging even for professionals and
    “old pros” in the recovery world, but it can make a huge difference in our ability to enjoy recovery for what it is – a chance to view the world and ourselves in a whole better light. I also give a specific example of how to apply it and even cite a study (no surprise there)!

  • 10 Things That Improve When You Quit Porn or Problematic Sex

    It might not seem like it right now, but there is much to look forward to in a life free of unwanted and difficult to change behavior. This short list contains some of the changes you can expect as demonstrated by research and our years of experience.

  • 5 Reasons You’re Not Ready to Change

    A lot goes in to the decision to make a significant change in our living. Taking a moment to do a self-assessment and think through some reasons that are often offered can be a worthwhile exercise.

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