03 March 2016
Sometimes we have emotions we’d rather do without. What is the best way to squash the ones we don’t want and to stretch out the ones we do want? By taking a close look at 5 of the most common emotions, we can find a path towards better living.
28 February 2016
When it comes to sexual urges, masturbation is a common outlet that Candeo Students engage in at some level. Common questions about masturbation include—“Is masturbation OK?” “How many times a day can I masturbate?” “If I can’t masturbate are you saying that I can’t have any type of relief?” “If my partner won’t or can’t have sex, is masturbation an acceptable alternative?”
06 January 2016
When a spouse or partner discovers a secret life of unwanted sexual behaviors, there is an excruciating pain that is reported. The word that has come to describe this pain in recent research and literature is trauma.
07 December 2015
One compelling reason you may stay “stuck” in unwanted sexual behaviors is fear. Fear is a powerful force in our lives. Understanding how to effectively deal with fear is absolutely necessary in order to free you from a lifestyle that has been destructive, limiting, and seemingly beyond your control.
13 November 2015
Candeo has been claiming for years (maybe decades), that willpower doesn’t work. I helped a colleague of mine run an interesting study. She found that the injunction to “try harder” had no effect whatsoever on anyone’s ability to regulate how they were feeling, especially when we used very scientific measurements, like physiological reactivity, to gauge whether people were successful in changing how they were feeling.
08 October 2015
One of the most powerful consequences of developing unwanted sexual behaviors is experiencing shame. Shame also seems to be one of the culprits that keep people stuck in their unwanted behaviors. Let’s explore a little about shame.
08 September 2015
10 question test for determining whether or not you’re addicted to pornography.
25 August 2015
To get to the Second Stage of Recovery, we have to rethink an all too common assumption about what temptations are. This can be challenging even for professionals and
“old pros” in the recovery world, but it can make a huge difference in our ability to enjoy recovery for what it is – a chance to view the world and ourselves in a whole better light. I also give a specific example of how to apply it and even cite a study (no surprise there)!
15 August 2015
Each situation is different and so it is hard to tell a person exactly what to do to disclose to their partner. Here are a few suggestions that will help guide you. Just take these as “ideas” and do what you feel is best for your relationship.
09 August 2015
It might not seem like it right now, but there is much to look forward to in a life free of unwanted and difficult to change behavior. This short list contains some of the changes you can expect as demonstrated by research and our years of experience.